'What dreadful hot weather we have,' wrote Jane Austen to her sister  Cassandra. 'It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.'

It is much the same for England’s footballers. They arrive at the tournament, it is summer, the mercury rises, inelegance abounds. In the list of excuses for competition failure, a lovely warm day ranks pretty high.

So what happened in South Africa, then? Middle of winter in the Southern Hemisphere, perfect conditions for a good old-fashioned English football match, even a bit on the chilly side at times.

Bootiful: Glen Johnson and Scott Parker train in the Donetsk heat

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