UP TO THEIR OLD TRICKS ... Capello is frustrated

A team that talks the talk but cannot walk the walk.

It was a night when we should have been cracking open the champagne to toast making it to next year's finals in Poland and Ukraine.

Instead, we cracked up and it turned into yet another drown-your-sorrows debacle.

Let's get it right, this always should have been a formality.

After all, what were we up against in this so-called do-or-die qualifier?

A country that is just five years old, boasts less than 700,000 people and is named after a black mountain.

Surely Fabio Capello's brave Three Lions couldn't mess this up?

We needed only a point to confirm qualification, so what were we worried about?

Mighty England, playing their 900th fixture, against a bunch of international novices.

Except it was these same novices who held Capello's men to a draw at Wembley — and only a crossbar that denied Milan Jovanovic a late winner that would have shocked the football world.

Hang on, though, that was when minnows Montenegro were the giants of Group G.

They arrived and left London as leaders having won their first three games and drawn the fourth.

But, as the old saying goes, it is a marathon not a sprint and lately the boys from the Balkans have been labouring in the final straight.

They were beaten by Wales in Cardiff and held at home by Bulgaria, allowing England a six-point advantage and only one more needed to qualify top of the group.

A piece of cake, then.

Except this is England and it's never that easy.

So it proved yet again. It was a dream start, with our brave boys storming into an early 2-0 lead.

But then came a nightmare finish, with our bottlers tossing away victory after Wayne Rooney's red card, for which he faces a likely two-match ban next summer.

What were the odds on that? But, seriously, it's no laughing matter.

The best you can say is that we qualified in a downpour, which is more than we did four years ago when 'Wally with the Brolly' Steve McClaren was in charge.

But where is this new mood of optimism that was supposed to be flowing throughout the camp?

Non-existent.

We have seen and heard all that Golden Generation nonsense before and we're still waiting.

Face it, finishing top of the pile among the likes of Montenegro, Wales, Bulgaria and Switzerland is one thing.

Mixing it with world champions Spain, World Cup finalists Holland and the old enemies Germany, France and Italy is quite another.

Of course we'll be up for it — but will we be up to it?

Last night in Podgorica and last year in South Africa suggest not.

Surely we can't be that bad again, can we?

We're told there's plenty of positives like No 1 Joe Hart, No 2 Phil Jones and No 3 Ashley Cole.

They were the first three names on the teamsheet numerically last night but all three had a tough time of it.

Hart will certainly think he could have done better with Elsad Zverotic's deflected goal on the stroke of half-time.

As for new-boy Jones, he almost scored two minutes into his debut.

But there was his heart-in-the-mouth tackle on Slevan Jovetic in the 51st minute which had home fans screaming for a penalty — and a couple of other sticky moments besides.

Even world-class Cole couldn't halt the waves of attacks as the tide turned so dramatically.

All three will be on the plane next summer, though.

Skipper John Terry and Rooney are certs too, even if the Manchester United striker disgraced himself again and has an awful track record at the top tournaments.

Roo's clubmate Ashley Young has also booked his spot after another top-class display, which was curtailed only by a knock.

He followed up his Wembley winner against Wales with a quickfire goal here to put England in charge, before teeing up Darren Bent for the second.

And his growing confidence for club and country is cause, not just for optimism, but real excitement about a player reaching the peak of his powers at the perfect time.

But he's about the only one as the rest of the midfield is an increasing concern.

Frank Lampard is gently being put out to grass and a fit-again Jack Wilshere could see the 33-year-old sent to pasture for good.

The jury's still out on Theo Walcott, even after all these years.

He drilled an early opportunity straight at the keeper but then put in a fine cross for Young's opener.

While Gareth Barry and Scott Parker aren't going to frighten Xavi, Iniesta or Sneijder.

There is also a centre-forward and centre-back to worry about, the very heart of defence and attack.

Who will partner Terry and who can combine with Rooney?

Gary Cahill and Darren Bent got the nod here. Bolton's Cahill did OK while Bent found the net.

But, then again, Harry Redknapp's missus could have scored that one.

The remaining key figure is Capello, a figure of fun in Africa.

But the Italian has reinvented himself.

He might have £38million in the bank according to a recent survey of football's super-rich yet he says he's driven by something money cannot buy — glory with England.

And, after 46 years of hurt, that will be some arrivederci. Just don't bet on it.